Birth Control: Should We Use It as a Christian Married Couple?

 

This is an article that could stir up some strong feelings concerning whether or not a married couple should use birth control. But it’s one that we need to address. It’s the “elephant in the room” concept where it’s difficult to ignore it being there. Even though it’s controversial, it needs to be acknowledged and discussed as to what to do about it. In a ministry that deals with marriage, it’s difficult NOT to cover the issue of birth control. It’s a necessary decision to make —whether you consider it a viable choice for you as a married couple to use it or not.
From time-to-time we will receive letters from people (primarily women) asking whether it’s biblical to use birth control. Our answer is, “that depends.” The following is part of a response I sent out to someone asking our opinion on this:

As for your question about it being “wrong” if you use birth control, I have to say that I see nothing in the Bible that would make one think it’s biblically wrong (and I’ve looked because we’ve had many, many other inquiries about this). Birth control, as long as it doesn’t take the life of the baby (like having an abortion) is something that I believe as a follower of Christ, is wise and isn’t against God’s will for us, unless He individually shows us otherwise.
God created sex for many reasons. And one of them is for pleasure and intimate connectiveness with our covenant marriage partner. He wants us to enjoy having sexual relations within marriage with our spouse so we feel closer to each other. It’s actually a sacred act within marriage. (We have several articles on our web site in the Sexual Issues topic on this subject.) In the book, A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy, which is a Christian book by Dr Douglas E Rosenau, there are several pages dedicated to birth control. Part of what he says is this:

“The Genesis passage of being fruitful and multiplying is in the context of God’s giving humankind control of the natural world. We are to be wise stewards of the children God places in our care. To choose to have one or two or five has to be a thoughtful and prayerful decision. You as a couple will have to sort through which method of birth control best fits you as you consider personal sensitivities and values.

“…It is good for all of us to remember that God values family and procreation with the planting of seed and the possibility of contraception. Thinking through birth control requires us to sort through our theology of procreation and life, and the deeper meaning of lovemaking in God’s overall sexual economy.”

God gave us a brain to think with and use. And if we don’t think that it would be a good idea to have a baby at this time (or even ever have a baby) we need to pray about it and see if this lines up with God’s will for our lives and use our God-given wisdom to use something that will prevent pregnancy. Every baby that comes into this world should be seen as being a blessing and one that we are prepared to care for and raise as the Lord would have us. If we aren’t ready to have a child or we think we might not be good parents then we need to be wise and consider using birth control.
If, on the other hand, you become pregnant because the birth control didn’t work, then you need to view it as God’s way of telling you that He will help you to love and care for this baby. You did your part to prevent an unwanted pregnancy but if God over-rides your preventative actions, then this would be God’s will for you and you would then lovingly raise the child the Lord has decided to give you. As for the type of birth control and other related questions you may have, I advise you to put “Birth Control for Christians” into your search engine of your computer. I put that term into the Google search engine and quite a few articles came up that looked very interesting and helpful to read.
I believe as you read through what God inspires you to read, you will eventually know what God’s will is in this area of your life. As you read each one, pray as to what God would want YOU to do. There are many opinions as to what may be the best birth control method, but trust God to show you what would work best for your family.
Please enjoy having sexual relations with your husband and if God leads you to, I hope you will use whatever birth control God shows you is OK. I believe you are being a wise steward with the wisdom God is giving you if you pray over whether or not having more children will work for you in your marriage. Just as the Bible says that there is a “season for everything under heaven” I believe there is a season to be “fruitful and multiply” and there is a season to stop the harvest.

So, to help those of you who are struggling with this question, we’re going to list a few links to some web site articles that you might find helpful —giving different perspective. We encourage you to prayerfully read each article. You might also research more on your own if these don’t answer your questions after praying about it. Please click onto the links below to read:

• CAN CHRISTIANS USE BIRTH CONTROL?

• BIRTH CONTROL (A Christian Perspective)

• WHY I’M NOT ON THE PILL

• MY HUSBAND DOESN’T WANT TO USE BIRTH CONTROL

• SILENT VOICES: BIRTH CONTROL

And then one last blog site which is provided by Christianity Today, gives another interesting thought, along with additional comments afterward, that we highly encourage you to read through, as you are praying about whether you should use birth control and if so, what type. Please click onto the link below to read:

• WHY WE DON’T USE NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING

We have one last consideration we hope you’ll pray about concerning the issue of whether you should use birth control or not. Please read Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 10 in your Bible. Within these scriptural passages, the issue is raised on certain practices such as eating meat sacrificed to idols, and whether this was permissible for followers of Christ. From what I read, the message is that “it depends” —just as we said at the beginning of this article. “Everything is permissible —but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible —but not everything is constructive” (1 Corinthians 10:23).
It’s a matter of praying about it, reading and discussing together what you perceive God is telling YOU as marriage partners —whether to use birth control or not, and then going in the direction God leads on this matter. When you ask for wisdom, consider all the facts, asking God for clarification for your life path together with Him, and then you will make the right decision, we are sure.
Please know that for all who read this, we are asking God to “fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may life a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:9-10).